Marriage mantra: Will you change just because your spouse wants so? If you loved your partner, won’t you go to any lengths to fulfil his/her expectations?
Well, think again. If your spouse or partner wants you to change, it’s the biggest mistake he/she is making. The glue to any successful relationship is to accept the person as they are. Your partner should be willing to accept as a whole – your idiosyncrasies, quirks, whims or eccentricities, all – if he/she loves you enough.
Relationship counsellor and marriage therapist, Clinton Power, here shares seven tips to be more accepting of your partner, in his recent Instagram post.
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1) Adjust your expectations
When your partner does something to annoy or frustrate you, ask yourself if this is something they really need to change or if you can adjust your expectations.
2) Try a bit of positive-thinking
Instead of focusing on the negative about your partner, switch up the narrative and focus on what’s great about them instead.
3) Don’t think in black and white
Consider that just because you do something your way doesn’t mean that’s the only right way and that their way is wrong. Learn to embrace the grey areas.
4) Stop judging yourself
Our judgement of others often stems from our own inner critic. Learning to accept yourself will go a long way in helping you accept your partner.
5) Focus on the here and now
Try not to ruminate about the past or see your partner’s actions through the prism of the past.
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6) Step into their shoes
Whenever you find yourself wanting to change your partner, imagine how you would feel if the roles were reversed. Trying to see things from their perspective will help you treat them with more empathy.
7) Focus on yourself
Our inability to accept our partner can stem from unmet needs. Consider what needs you can meet for yourself without putting the responsibility on your partner. If you’re happy and fulfilled in yourself, accepting your partner for who they are will be much easier.
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